Tuesday, October 12, 2021

One Small Step For A Man, One Giant Leap For a Frog: How I Made My Way to America


Hi.  My name is Francois.  But call me Frankie, because since I hopped over here to America many years ago, I have found Americans to be too lazy to properly pronounce my name.  Don't look at me so strangely.  This is my GuardFrog face.  For the first few months I was living for free in this rinky dinky, small pond (that clearly wasn't built up to my comfy specifications).  

I came here in 2010 a free frog, full of hope.  I didn't even need a green card, I was already green.  Then in 2016, you Americans got tough on immigration laws and I had to leave that big beautiful pond in Central Park, that some fools named "Turtle Pond".

I hopped into suburbs outside the city until I landed this tiny fake pond.  The owner hassled me to do some form of work in order for him to take care of the pond up to my European standards.  To get him off my Lilly pad, I promised him that I would croak "Intruder" or "Run Forrest, Run" if I saw uninvited guests, or burglars at his doors and windows.  I promised him anything to make him go away.

Listen, a frog who dances, sings, drinks and gambles has to have fun too?  I'm a real party amphibian.  Subscribe to me and help me pay for some flies and a heater for this pond.  Winter is coming and I hear fuel prices are going up.  That means this homeowner guy will be out here watching to see if I'm tapping his electricity with a pond heater.  😒

No worries.  I will be hot wiring a heater out here...😄

You can also find me at https://twitter.com/francoisfrog

2 comments:

  1. Ode to a Frog

    Glistening green skin, reflection of dark eyes
    Watery beauty
    Soulful and wise

    A frog longing for his past
    Buttery, wine filled flies recast
    Such sorrow of days gone by
    Looking and longing for a net to cast
    In a land of food that is fast
    Will this pond sustain his last?

    Hopping across a gravely lane
    Refuge found with a leaf and some pain
    This journey will not be made in vain
    One more hop and a balance sustained

    Bonne Chance Frankie


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  2. Lovely poem! The poetic ups and downs of my frog life. We all start out as tadpoles. We figure how to function so that we can prosper. Our size, skin color and vertical jump should not matter. I'm four inches long, green, with spots and I can jump like the Michael Jordon of frogs! But I just want what everyone wants. I want a home, a peace of mind, a body of water, mud and a few insects to eat everyday. Thank you for leaving me this poem Anonymous. May the forces of nature blow more insects your way. Please catch them and donate them to me.

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